Society presents us with sexual temptations everywhere we look.
It uses half-naked women to sell cars, watches, and just about anything you can think of. TV shows and movies are filled with sex scenes. And fashion is trending toward skimpier outfits.
It’s hard to escape the subtle invitations without experiencing temptation. But you can be prepared when they come knocking on your door.
We’ll show you 10 practical ways to battle sexual temptations in this article.
Your ability to control your sexual thoughts underpins these 10 strategies.
A study from Northwestern University published in Psychological Science examined how cognition and temptation were related.
Temptation begins a thought process that allows us to strengthen our self-control. Think of self-control as a muscle.
For example, if you were on a calorie-restrictive diet and asked to have a chocolate bar your self-control mechanism would produce a protective thought.
Temptations trigger more protective thoughts. The people who didn’t need to frequently think about resisting temptation were more likely to ward it off than those who did. And that’s the point. By implementing these strategies, you’ll be using less willpower.
Understanding this cognitive principle will help you apply the following 10 strategies more effectively.
1. Avoid Triggers
This is a keystone habit in battling sexual temptation — and it’s arguably the most critical factor.
Stay away from anything that could trigger you. This includes racy advertisements and TV shows or movies. Don’t watch anything where women show too much skin. And if you must, fast forward through sex scenes.
Why is this the most critical factor? Well, men’s DNA is geared toward a strong desire for attraction. Biologically, our ultimate goal is to spread our seed. So when we see an attractive woman sexualized, it triggers this instinct. At times, this can override our morality.
2. Surround Yourself With Good Company
Porn is an isolating activity. So it makes sense to combat it with company. But the wrong type of friends will drag you down.
It’s better to be alone than in poor company. Friends with bad habits will influence your decisions. But if you’re alone, you’re back at square one. Now you’re tempted to soothe the loneliness with a quick fap.
Consider joining a martial arts club or hitting the gym. Your improvement as a man is linked to your physicality and knowing how to fight. You’ll slowly feel an identity shift and branch into building other areas of your life. Do you think Rocky Balboa hid under the sheets like a pussy and beat his meat before his triumphant victory? Probably not.
When you establish roots in other areas, you’ll be less inclined to return to porn. It’s an upward spiral that feeds on itself and propels you to success.
3. Guard Your Eyes
Studies show that early exposure to sexually explicit material leads to risky sexual behavior in adulthood.
Think of your mind as a castle. The eyes are a gateway into that castle. If the guards are sleeping, and lustful sights encircle the gates it’s only a matter of time before they enter.
Be wary of what you watch, read, and the sites you visit. You must be intentional about guarding your gaze. In my personal experience, this isn’t something you ever put on autopilot. No matter how long you’ve been “clean” from porn you need to actively avert your gaze.
| Practical tip: Use apps to restrict your phone, computer, and TV. Time-based and content-based restrictions are both helpful. To strengthen this, leave the password with a trusted person. |
The eyes trigger lustful thoughts, and those thoughts develop into actions. One technique you can use to avert your gaze is called the “bounce.” This is when you see something attractive, and instead of lingering — you look at something else. Don’t cultivate any lustful thoughts that arise.
4. Make a Plan
Before I was free of this addiction, the days would go by meaninglessly. I’d wake up whenever I wanted and check the fridge for leftovers that’d soon become “breakfast.”
Then, I got ready for the workday and reluctantly commuted to work. After work, I’d order takeout, play video games, and fap into the void. Once I couldn’t physically fap, I’d watch something on Netflix until my attention span wavered, and call it a night.
I wanted to quit, but this pattern would repeat itself no matter how hard I tried.
A big reason I was unable to quit was that I didn’t have a plan. I went to bed at night not knowing what I wanted for breakfast. And that would lead to unhealthy choices. Those choices would snowball into worse choices. Which would eventually culminate in my nightly fap.
I bet many of you guys can relate.
So, what was the fix? Simple. Planning.
Take something as small as laying out your clothes before bed. And do just that. Slowly, plan more. One area I strongly recommend you plan out is your grocery shopping. Have recipes in mind that you’d like to prepare, and shop for those ingredients.
When it’s time for your next meal, you’ll be more inclined to cook that recipe instead of making a poor diet choice. Have all your time accounted for so you minimize the room for error.
5. Practice Mindfulness
Remember the study from before? We left out a key point.
People need to engage with their temptation to provide a rationalization for or against the behavior. The study found that people were more likely to lean toward positive rationalizations. In other words, they’d argue in favor of the negative habit rather than against it.
Many people who relapse end up in a situation they don’t want to be in. It starts small. Usually, it’s a thought that grows into a fantasy. This fantasy develops into a thought pattern if left unchecked.
This pattern will chip away at your boundaries over time. And eventually, you’ll merge fantasy with reality. Before you know it, you’ve relapsed.
Practices of mindfulness shift our focus back to reality. When we relapse, we’re heedless. This means we identify with form, with the body. Move your energy back into your mind. This can be done through breathing exercises or meditation.
6. Limit Social Media
Porn sites and social media are closely related. It may sound strange since they offer different content. However, consider the spike in traffic to PornHub when YouTube had an outage.
Porn companies have also tried to buy social media platforms such as Tumblr to push explicit content.
Additionally, the content you see on social media platforms such as Instagram, Snapchat, and TikTok can be triggering. Many platforms have “discovery” pages. This is where randomized images and videos are shown. Many of these could be viewed as soft-core porn.
Social media has become integrated into our lives, so it’s hard to let go of it completely. If you must use social media, limit it to your PC. Also, if you’re only using it to connect with others you can bookmark the “direct messages” page on your PC. This lets you avoid the “feed” and minimizes the chance of you stumbling onto triggering material.
7. Engage in Intimacy
Many studies have shown that porn users have lower relationship satisfaction. Don’t let porn replace natural intimacy in your relationship.
The more you allow it to, the more you’ll prefer it. On the other hand, if you cultivate healthy intimacy with your partner — you’ll find that you favor it over a wank session.
Learn to be more affectionate. More specifically, make your moments meaningful. It all starts with learning your partner’s love language. Once you know this, become a consistent supply of affection using their preferred means.
When you get physically intimate, you’ll feel a stronger bond. Continue strengthening your relationship through intimate moments. Your desire for porn will fade. This is due to your brain rewiring to connect with your partner instead of a porn fantasy.
8. Ask Yourself Why
Oftentimes, fapping is a way to fill a “void” inside us. When an urge hits, it’s sometimes rooted in something we’re missing.
It could be from a lack of intimacy, a weak social circle, or an unfulfilling job. Find out the areas of life where you’re lacking. Over the next few months and years, build up these areas.
Aim for long-term, sustainable change. It’ll take introspection and a lot of time. But understanding the “why” behind your temptations will help you address them over the long term.
9. Have a Vision Board
Growing up, I’d see many celebrities and successful people speak about their vision boards.
I thought it was silly, and I never considered having one myself. That is until I desperately wanted to quit porn. I went to the dollar store and bought a corkboard with some thumbtacks. I wrote my goals on flashcards and stuck them on.
Quitting porn was one of those goals. I relapsed many times after that, but accomplishing the other goals on that board gave me more drive and motivation to quit. I’d knock a goal off the board, and replace it with a new one. Business goals were being shattered. My health and fitness were through the roof.
But that “quit porn” card was so hard to remove. I’ve been clean for over three years but decided to make that card a permanent fixture on my vision board. Why? Because this is a fight that never ends. No matter how experienced you are, the urges never cease.
Make a vision board and keep it in sight. When you’re triggered, look at the things you plan to accomplish. Now imagine them going down the drain. It sucks, doesn’t it?
10. Never Give Up
Become persistent in your fight against sexual temptation. Be resilient when urges come. And be consistent with your positive habits. Sexual addiction is something that develops over years, and it may take a long time to overcome. Recovery is a marathon, not a sprint.
If you fall, pick yourself up again. Learn from relapses. Think of them as a stop on the ocean floor. Become richer from collecting the pearls of wisdom, and stronger from the swim back to the surface.
Celebrate your small wins, and don’t be too hard on yourself.
Victory
The thought of recovering from porn addiction is jarring. Even with all this knowledge, it’s a huge task.
That’s where you need a mindset shift.
| Try this: think about every possibility. What will you achieve once you’re free? How will your life look without porn? Get as detailed as possible. Hell, even picture the white picket fence around your new home. |
Do you feel the excitement? The rush? Good. Now channel this feeling into your recovery process. Make healing from this addiction as enjoyable as the benefits you hope to experience. Picture your picket fence every time an urge strikes.
That’s how you ensure your success on this path.
Let’s get some work done. If you’re serious about quitting porn, I invite you to look at our Lifeforce Mastery program. I’m not trying to sell you some bullshit — just check out our intro video, and if you’re not convinced you can go about your life. You have nothing to lose.
Victory is on the other side. The question is, will I see you there?
– Mr. Mind Blowing
