Written by Shivanda Fernando
I guarantee that during your NOFAP Journey, you would have come across a moment where you were doing an amazing NoFap streak, reaping the many benefits of NoFap and breaking your personal record thinking you will beat this thing, but an urge takes all of this away, putting you in despair and now you are at square once again.
There is a Native American fable that resonates with NoFap urges which is the Feeding the Wolf where a father tells his son “I sometimes feel there are two wolves inside me, each of whom fights to tell me what to do. One of the wolves is full of fire and wants to attack and act nasty. The other is calmer, thinks clearly, and makes better choices. But they’re both always there. The wolf I feed is the one that wins. ” This story has much more significance than you think.
These techniques in which I am going to show you, feed the calmer wolf inside of you so once you get those urges YOU can be the wolf that WINS.
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Trying to resist urges is difficult we have all tried it but have failed. Now you might be thinking if we accept the urges, wouldn’t we just give in and just relapse?. A renowned Australian Mental Health Institute has researched this and created a technique called Urge Surfing. The main goal is to not directly confront our urges.
Step 1: Once you get the urges, acknowledge you urges which are arising out aloud or in your head for example “I have the urge to Fap” “I really need to watch Porn”, as a result, you are observing the changing nature of urges highlighting that you have these urges inside of you that want to do an action which can have a negative effect.
Step 2: Outline that urges are temporary through thought “These thoughts are temporary and occur naturally” and “These thoughts will go away, just like the waves will roll onto the shore,” Keep thinking that urges are just like the waves. (This is where urge surfing is named from)
Throughout, your journey you might have heard about the process of Rewiring your brain over a 90 day period.
Well, there is a process which is proved by scientists which helps improve this process called Inculcating which requires you to have goals and often repeat them to literally engrave what you want and your goals into your brain in when comes these goals.
So if this step is completed properly it can prevent urges from arising as your brain is required to consistently think these thoughts. There are two ways to this, both methods are recommended to be used.
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Method 1 / The Power of Visionary goals:
Visionary statements are a powerful way to battle against masturbation and porn. Fun fact: If you have a goal you are 10 times more likely to succeed.
So if have this it can massively benefit us. An example would be ‘Show my deep love for my wife and kids by hugging, laughing, listening, talking and spending time doing what we like and confidently initiating and completing work that exceeds expectations which can be achieved through by abstaining from porn.’
Once you have created your visionary statement, similar to this you need to repeat it Five Times every day, which can help rewire your brain to think.
Method 2 / Power of outlining negative and positive effects
Another method is to write down Five Negative outcomes each, for Porn and Masturbation, and Five Positive outcomes which arise, as a result of abstaining from Masturbation and Pornography.
Again read this Five Times every day in which inculcates the negative effects of Masturbation and Porn, and rewires the brain into thinking about the negative effects of pornography and masturbation and the positivity which can come in which diminishes the urges before they arise.
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Intonation of Breath
This practice is derived from Buddhist Monks and is consistently practiced on daily practice with the aim to develop a strong mental barrier by monks.
This same principle can be implemented against our urges. As an effective way to combat against urges, it is recommended that we meditate for at least 10 minutes every day as this builds a mental barrier against the urges and the capacity for awareness against the
What we need to do is to close our eyes for a moment and notice our intonation which is breathing in, breathing out, and the space between our breathing.
As result, this increases the awareness of what is going around us and gives us more control of our minds. This is recommended for at least 10 minutes every day
If you find it hard to meditate, a method which you can do is to do the intonation of the breath technique 10 times, which can easily be done by everyone as the beginner stage.
Another powerful method instead of this is the 4-6-6 method. This is consistently encouraged by mental health institutes is to breathe in for four seconds, hold your breath for six seconds and exhale for six seconds.
So Guys, that’s is it for the three techniques on urge control. I hope this helps, and as always the best of luck on your NoFap Journey, and remember to carry out these techniques on a daily basis for improvement.
Thanks see you next time.
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