Jumping into NoFap without preparation isn’t the best idea.
You might not have an idea of how hard this is. And relapsing over and over can be frustrating.
And that can get many guys to quit.
If you don’t want to be in the camp of quitters, there are a few things we recommend doing.
First, you’ll have to download software on your phone that’ll protect your searches. This is just a band-aid solution though — you’ll want to reduce your overall screen time as well.
You also need to mentally prepare yourself to fight urges.
Moreover, stay in the company of others. Studies show a link between porn and loneliness.
And finally, make a list of what you want from life. This will be your comprehensive vision that fuels your progress. It’ll be something to look back on when times are tough, and the path becomes unclear.
Following these tips will not only make your NoFap journey smoother, but you’ll also be less likely to lose hope and quit.
Let’s explore the preparation for NoFap in more detail.
1. Download a Porn Blocker App on Your Phone
You can find many porn blocker apps on the play store (android) or app store (apple). Here is a list of a few:
There are many different apps (paid and unpaid), and they come with their own bells and whistles. But the premise is the same — they all block sexual content.
Some even feature scheduled screen time and random screenshots to hold you accountable.
Keep in mind that porn will still be accessible on other browsers such as Google Chrome, Firefox, Opera, and so on. Removing these browsers from your phone will limit your porn viewing options.
These browsers often come with a built-in “SafeSearch” feature.
Typing search queries that give explicit results will only show SafeSearch-approved results. This means that porn sites won’t appear as images or links.
Here’s how to enable safe search in Google chrome
Step 1: Open Google Chrome by tapping the icon.
Step 2: Type https://www.google.com/preferences in the address bar and hit enter.
Step 3: Under the “SafeSearch Filters” section, there will be a check box beside the words “Turn on SafeSearch.” Make sure this box is checked.
Step 4: Scroll to the bottom of the page and click save.
Step 5: You’ll see a confirmation box that says “Your preferences have been saved.” Click ok and you’re good to go.
2. Prepare Yourself for Urges
No matter how experienced you are with NoFap, urges will always come. But you need to recognize them as exactly that. Just urges. They’ll leave you just as they came in the first place.
We’ve made a list of techniques you can use to manage urges. Some of these techniques can be applied immediately and have a great impact. Others you’ll need to develop over time which will help your resolve in the long run.
- Phone a friend: This is more than just a lifeline on “Who Wants to Be a Millionaire?” When an urge hits, call a friend to keep you distracted. It’ll be hard to relapse while you’re talking on the phone. You can also have an accountability partner for this purpose.
- Go outside: It doesn’t take an expert to realize most relapses happen indoors. Going outside for a walk is a simply way to “starve” the urge until it leaves. You’re basically putting yourself in a position where you can’t relapse even if you wanted to. Go to a beach, the library, or the mall. The more populated, the better.
- Unfollow Instagram models: We can’t believe we still have to say this. For a lot of men, slip ups come from triggers in plain sight. And if you’re browsing your feed while following scantily clad models — they’re in plain view. Unfollow all model pages and any others that trigger you.
- Meditate: Meditation takes time to develop into an effective habit, but it pays in spades. It’s common for people to meditate for the first time and say, “it didn’t work.” Stick with it. It’ll give you the clarity of mind and reduce the frequency of your urges. Additionally, when they come you’ll be mindful enough to let them pass without acting on them.
- Push-ups: Urges are pent up sexual energy, and that energy needs to be released. When you get an urge, drop and do push-ups. It’ll kill your urges and it’s an excellent calisthenics movement.
This is the foundation for a beginner or an experienced guy on NoFap. Remember, nothing guarantees that your urges will go away completely. But with practice, you can get better at handling urges. That should be your focus. Use a combination of techniques you can apply instantly, and techniques that help you in the long-run.
Learn to deeply understand your urges and triggers. This will give you the best chance of denying your lizard brain the dopamine it craves.
3. Make a List of What You Want From Life
We’ve covered the concept of your vision comprehensively in other guides. To look at that, click here.
For those that want the “crash course” version, stick around.
Your vision is simply a list of everything you want from life.
Start with your short-term goals (think three to six months). Maybe its a certain body fat percentage or physique. Follow the “SMART” acronym when setting short-term goals. Make them specific, measurable, achievable, relevant, and time bound.
Once you’re done with short-term goals, write down a long term vision.
Get creative here. Think outside the box.
We encourage you to have the opposite approach when making your long term goals.
Consider something along the lines of the 10X rule as stated in The 10X Rule by Grant Cardone.
It’s simple. Set goals that are 10 times greater than what you believe you can achieve. Any actions you take toward these goals should be 10 times greater as well.
If you only stop watching porn, it’s considered abstinence — not recovery. Abstinence is a huge part of recovery, but not everything. The point of these goals is to create a foundation for your habits. Eventually, you’ll be caught up in cultivating habits that support the completion of these goals. When this happens, porn takes the backseat in your life.
This is recovery.
It’s the process of overhauling areas of your life that need repair. This repair process itself can be seen as recovery. You become engrossed in fixing your life to a point where you forget about porn. Sure, urges come back, but they’re few and far between.
4. Don’t Be Alone
NoFap brings out natural feelings porn used to suppress.
Loneliness is one of those feelings. And it’s easy to see it as a negative thing.
But what if you flipped the script?
What if instead of seeing loneliness a painful hurdle, you saw it as a blessing?
Pain is a driver. The fact that you feel lonely is a signal from yourself that motivates you to meet people. A lack of porn will make you crave intimacy. Whether it be in the form of friendship, or a romantic relationship — use this natural driver to go out there and meet new people.
The more you put this off, the more you’ll long for porn when feelings of loneliness arise.
And if you’re in a situation where you can’t meet new people easily, consider these tips to cope with loneliness:
- Think about what is making you lonely: Often, the root cause of our loneliness is not a lack of connections. You can work with a therapist to uncover the reason for your loneliness.
- Don’t compare yourself to others: Some people need more human interaction, others not so much. Respect your needs and act accordingly.
- Read others’ stories: Many people in the past went through what you’re going through now. And they came out on the other end victorious. Read success stories to help you grasp the concept: “this too shall pass.”
Don’t use porn to mask your innate drive to connect with others. If you don’t know where to start, educate yourself using videos and books. The solution to social anxiety by Dr. Aziz Gazipura is an excellent resource.
And above all else — take massive action. You won’t connect with anyone no matter how much you learn! Remember to act on your knowledge.
5. Limit Your Screen Time
Imagine trying to quit smoking with a pack of cigarettes in your pocket.
It sounds nearly impossible. But keeping your hands out of your pockets can eventually cause you to forget about that pack… temporarily.
This is the goal when it comes to reducing screen time. Aimlessly scrolling or consuming content online puts you at risk for a relapse. Even if its innocent, being glued to your phone all day is unproductive.
Many of the porn blocker apps mentioned above have a screen time limiting feature. If you’re using a porn blocker that doesn’t have one, have a look at these apps that will help you limit your screen time:
- Digital Wellbeing
- StayFree – Screen Time
- Your Hour
- Social Fever
In addition to this, studies have shown connections between increased screen time and suicide, reduced sleep quality, and adverse physiological and psychological effects.
The Bottom Line
If you’ve started NoFap — congratulations.
You’re on the right path to living a better life.
But you may have experienced difficulty in being consistent with your abstinence.
This is why it’s important to prime yourself for success. If you jump in headfirst without preparation, you’re setting yourself up for failure.
Start by downloading a porn blocker app on your phone. It doesn’t guarantee that you won’t watch porn, but it’s a hurdle you have to overcome. Essentially, you want to make accessing the habit as uncomfortable as possible.
When the urges come, be ready to face them. No matter how far you’ve gotten, the urges don’t stop.
Surround yourself with the right people, and limit your screen time. This will minimize the chance of a relapse.
And lastly, write down a vision — this is everything you want from life. And keep it in sight.
It’ll cement your aspirations in your mind. Your mind will steadily create goals being the goal striving mechanism it is. And these goals will make progress towards your aspirations.
Before you know it, you’ll see recovery on the horizon.