Let’s start with a story.
It’s the story of two guys Jason and Simon.
Jason faps 2 to 3 times a day and doesn’t give a shit about his future.
He likes a girl named Sara. Jason has always had a crush on her — but he’s never confessed his feelings.
He lets weeks pass by, and not a single word.
Simon on the other hand loves to make new friends. He doesn’t waste time jerking off watching other people “having fun”. And he always does what he says.
Simon also likes Sara. And he’s decided that on Valentine’s day, he’ll ask her out on a date.
Here’s the catch: Jason has the exact same plan.
A couple of days before Valentine’s, Jason calls up Sara and asks her out. He tells her he has something special for her.
Shortly after, Simon asks her out too. Sara has a date with Jason and Simon on the same day. Let’s see how each guy prepares:
A day before their date, Simon is thinking about everything he can do to make her feel special, and what he should wear.
And Jason is entertaining himself on tube sites.
Simon is confident while Jason is nervous. Simon is well prepared. And Jason, well… I think you know where this is going.
Sara’s first date is with Jason. Her impression of him wasn’t the best. He was timid and awkward.
Her date with Simon was a different story. Simon shows confident body language and presence. He walks in like he owns the place. But not in an arrogant way.
Simon ended up dating Sara for years. Although I’m sure you’d love a “happily ever after” here — they’re not together anymore. The point is, Simon got the girl.
The guy who put more effort in himself — who woulda known!?
Moral of the Story
We all wait for that “perfect moment” to turn things around. But we don’t realize how much time has gone by while our competition is crushing it.
There’s a “Simon” in all our lives (even if we don’t have someone in mind). Being a man in today’s world is competitive, and you need to make sure you’re on top.
After all, the victor gets the spoils.
Fapping excessively makes a man lazy, and negatively affects his mind. We don’t realize that we’ve got only one life to live.
How Masturbation Destroys Your Confidence
After squeezing one out, you lose interest in doing anything.
You feel like eating a pack of chips and binging a show or scrolling through your phone. You don’t even have the motivation to do the dishes (let’s be real when do any of us).
In our story above, the key factor that separated Jason and Simon was motivation.
Simon had the drive to “get things right” when it came to his date. He put in the effort, and it showed.
Here’s the science behind why we feel lazy after fapping:
A couple of hormonal changes happen. Namely, a spike in prolactin and a dip in dopamine. When these two happen at the same time you feel exhausted like in the example above.
The increase in prolactin after an orgasm is part of a feedback loop. It causes a decrease in sexual arousal. It does this by inhibiting your dopamine. This is a signal that tells your brain you’re sexually satisfied.
Imagine being in this “lazy” state all the time. You’d think it was normal.
But it’s far from normal. The “superpowers” guys experience when quitting porn isn’t some heightened state. It’s baseline. It’s how nature intended a for man to feel and function.
Depression, and a lack of confidence are normal for the average addict.
You may also notice that whenever you masturbate, you start to turn down work. Dopamine is the hormone of drive. It’s no surprise that when guys abuse their dopamine system, they don’t feel motivated.
Of course, avoiding porn is easier said than done. With its ease of access, it’s understandable why many men are struggling.
Here’s our advice if you relate to this:
Develop other areas of your life. This will give you a goal to strive towards, and redirect your focus.
Building a better physique, achieving financial freedom, and finding fulfilling relationships are examples of things to work toward. That may sound overwhelming. But take the next tiny step. Whatever that is. It may be a quick Google search on “How to lose body fat.”
How NoFap Helps Bring Confidence Back
Confidence isn’t arrogance or pride. It’s not about being selfishly dominant.
Confidence comes from within. In practical terms, you don’t care about what others think.
An important thing to note about confidence is that it comes with practice. Generally, the more you do something, the better you get. And the stronger you become in that area the more confident you’ll be.
When you stop fapping excessively, you give yourself space to practice things. Learning how to play a new instrument is an example of this. You need to garner the discipline to repeatedly practice. That’s when you’ll get good.
Keep in mind that confidence may be specific to your activity. Learning how to play the piano may not make you confident in the gym. That’s why you must practice what you want to be confident in.
However, confidence can translate well between some activities. If you’re a professor that’s used to lecturing — you may be more confident at public speaking than the average person.
The confidence that NoFap gives you is intrinsic. It’s not dependant on what other people think. As a matter of fact, others will likely notice something different about you!
Your brand new self — a charismatic, confident man is just the tip of the iceberg. And he’s waiting on the other side.
All you have to do is take the first step.
Many studies have shown that watching porn can make you feel depressed.
Individuals who consume porn daily are dealing with more than just porn. They’re likely to be experiencing depression as well. Depressed people tend to watch more porn to soothe their negative feelings. But the porn consumption make their symptoms worse.